"Loving trans people is a revolutionary act."
So, recently I started seeing someone. Germane to this particular blog series, this someone is a nontrans woman, and we are two time zones away from each other. Coupled with the fact that I am a Taurus and have a strong dislike for small talk, her and I have spent a lot of time getting to know each other on a deep level, oftentimes grappling with important, difficult questions.
One of the first questions she and I talked about was what it meant for her as a nontrans person to be interested in me as a trans person. Through these discussions of how we would intentionally navigate gender in our growing relationship, we began exploring how gender has shown up in previous relationships. See, I am the first trans person she has dated, and while we were both interested in each other, I have too many bad experiences with dating as a trans person to not ask this question. From being used so people could claim they have “been with people of all genders,” to being someone’s dirty little secret, to being made to wonder how my gender may have mediated people no longer talking to me, let’s just say I have grown, in the words of a dear trans friend, a little cispicious.
One day she texted me and said she was looking for content online about trans-nontrans relationships, but wasn’t finding much beyond blogs that tell nontrans people to check their transphobia. While this is an incredibly important point, it wasn’t really providing guidance or feedback on how to think about loving across gender identities in an ongoing and intentional fashion.
Enter this blog series…
My hope is this series can help stem the gap of commentary and voice about the experiences of living and loving across gender identities. I envision this not as the end of the conversation, but an opening up, and a inviting into an ongoing conversation about the complexities of gender and how gender mediates friendship, companionship, and love (both amorous and otherwise).
For this blog series, I am inviting guest contributors to submit posts to me via email (email@example.com). Posts should:
Once I receive posts, I will work with the author(s) until the posts are ready for publication.
While everyone is welcome to submit potential blogposts, trans people of all genders, trans people of color, trans people with disabilities, and trans people with multiply marginalized identities and experiences are highly encouraged to submit.
I’m looking forward to reading these blogposts, as well as sharing them with you.
Z and Lauren
This blog is a space where I engage with ideas, concepts, and research that seeks to increase life chances for trans* people.